holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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