I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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