YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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