Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
