nut hugger
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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