Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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