if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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