I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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