But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
