If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
