Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
