why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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