me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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