He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
