wrigley field is MILF paradise
if i can run in heels then i can drive
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
