ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
