Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
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