Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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