Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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