Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
