I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
