I just saw a hot homeless man
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
