So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
