You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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