You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
