i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
