I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
