you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
