At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
