So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Randomize
