some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
