Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
