Nicole vs. Life
only if we run a train.
done.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
