this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
