No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
