I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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