At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
