he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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