don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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