does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
