Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
