so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Randomize
