I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
where are my eyebrows?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
