ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
