is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You can't just leave with hair like that
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
