My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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