ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
