Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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