Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
