Well apparently he's into motor boating.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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