its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
