3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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