Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
