i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
